Before You Become Bedmates, First Think About This…

In this post, I want to share with you an important subject that is affecting many young people today, especially those seeking to find the love of their life. In a bid to hook to someone, they put the cart before the horse and at the end, experience a painful and regretful journey in their relationship.

Having a working knowledge of what works and what does not is key to success in every area of life, including relationship. Knowing the right thing to do in building a relationship and doing it, earn you joy and lasting comfort.

Have you ever ask yourself why majority of relationships broke up, leaving each partner, especially the female folks heartbroken?

This can be traced to many factors, and in my opinion, one of the major causes of breakages in relationships and even marriages is the undue haste to first become bed-mate with a person instead of first finding out if he/she is a soul-mate.

Now you ask, “Daniel, what do you mean?”

I mean; many young people in relationship are too much in a haste to become bedmates instead of soulmates, and this is one of the reasons they suffer heartbreaks. Consequently, they miss the happy better life they should be living as God desires for them.

Now, let’s get deeper into this discussion.

Who is a soul-mate?

According to an American writer, Richard Bach, “A soul-mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.”

In other words, your soul-mate is a person you connect with and who also connects with you on the deepest level of human relationship and allows you to become the best version of yourself by giving you the room to grow in the relationship. Putting this in simple terms:

  • Your soul-mate is that person you understand and who also understands you.
  • Your soul-mate is someone who takes you for who you are regardless of your weaknesses.
  • Your soul-mate is a person who shares the same interest, passion, values, and beliefs with you, or one who supports these and helps you strive to get better as you grow in your friendship or relationship.

Having known who a soul-mate is, let’s now consider who is a bedmate.

In my university days in the hostel, I had several bedmates who shared the same bed with me. In the context of this work, a bed-mate is not just a person you share the same bed with. Far from that, a bedmate is someone with whom you have sexual relationship. In clearer words, your bed-mate is a person you sleep with sexually regardless of where the act takes place – on a bed or not.

Have you been told that being a good bed-mate is what makes a happy relationship? Read this article here. Don’t be deceived. Being a professional bedmate is not what builds a happy better relationship. Instead, it is being a soul-mate together with your partner. So, when seeking or building a relationship, your foremost concern should be to make yourselves soul-mates with or to your partner. Your relationship/marriage can only be sustained and successful when you and your partner are both soul-mates. When you begin a relationship with someone, your first task is to find out if that handsome man or beautiful lady is going the same direction with you. Remember it is written: “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the same direction?” Amos 3:3, NLT.

As a matter of fact, it is impossible for two people to move together except they are heading to one destination. Similarly, you cannot build a happy better relationship with a person except he/she is your soul-mate. Meaning, the person must be someone who understands you, values you, respects you, and helps you get better; one who has the same vision or passion with you (or even if he/she does not have the same vision/passion/belief with you, but at least, he/she does not go against them.) etc.

Now, what is the essence of getting into a relationship if it is not to make each other happier and better and if it’s God wills, eventually build a home together? Again, if it is being a soul-mate that helps to achieve this goal, what then is the reason for rushing to become a bed-mate with someone you have not known or found to have the locks that fit your keys and keys that fit your locks, as Richard Bach puts it?

I am in the flow, but following the flow will mean holding you here all day long. So you can attend to other things, let’s stop here and continue in the next part.

To wrap this up, I say to you:

Don’t Become A Bedmate To A Person Whom You Cannot Yet Describe As A Soul-Mate. This is Because, The Realization That He Or She Is Not Your Soul-Mate When You Have Already Sold Yourself Out To Him Or Her Is Heart-Breaking; As A Matter Of Truth, It Tears The Soul Apart.

I hope you learnt one or two thing(s) from what you have just read. If you did, let me know in the comment box.

Thank you.



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