10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself As A Single Before Going Into A Relationship
The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge,” said Thomas Berger.
Questions are gateways to the vast world of knowledge and awareness. Asking questions and getting the right answers to them put you on a higher pedestal than those who don’t care to ask let alone seeking answers. Like every other area of human endeavor, relationship is a game that must be played with the needed knowledge if your aim is to win in it. Getting into a relationship, especially a romantic relationship without knowing what it entails is like a blind man trying to find his way alone. If he tries it without help, he ends up falling a victim of painful circumstances some of which he/she may not be able to recover from.
To avoid being like the said blind man, you’ve got to know what relationship involves and the part you have to play in order to succeed in it. And how do you get this knowledge? While this can come in different ways, one sure way is asking the right questions. In this article, I will show you some of the vital questions you need to ask and find answers to before you get into one and after you find one.
Here are 10 questions you should ask yourself before you begin a romantic relationship.
- What is the true definition of love in a relationship?
Someone said, “Affection is when you see someone’s strengths; love is when you accept someone’s flaws.” Many have misconstrued what love actually entails. They get into relationship without knowing the true meaning of love. They take love to be what it is not and as a result, they don’t get what they actually hope to achieve in the relationship. What does love mean to you? Is it just a feeling of attraction you have towards the opposite sex or it is something else or something more than a feeling? You’ve got to get this right upfront.
- What kind of man/woman do I want to marry?
Many don’t actually know the kind of man or woman they should have. Not knowing the man or woman that you need is totally wrong because not every person is good for you. You should be aware that you are a unique individual. In that, you are not the same with every other persons. You have likes and dislike you have passions and abilities which others don’t possess. You have weaknesses as well as strengths. So, not every kind of person will be a good match for you as a partner and when you don’t know who you want, the person will be hard to recognize when he/she shows up.
- Why do I want this kind of partner?
What is/are your reason(s) for considering a person as a potential life partner? Is it his personality, wealth, social status, belief, etc.? You should know. And what should be the factors to consider when choosing a life partner?
- What are my weaknesses (anger, etc.)?
To get the right person for a life partner, you should know your weaknesses. What are your weak points? What are your emotional, mental or physical weaknesses? Do you easily get angry? Are you quick to be offended? Are you the brave type or the not-so-courageous type? Knowing your areas of weaknesses will enable you to identify the one who will complement you.
- What are my strengths?
Just as knowing your weaknesses is important, you must also know what your areas of strength are. Your strengths are the things you are good at – Outspoken, brave, smart, patient, etc. Knowing your strengths enables you to decide wisely.
- What is my genotype?
Would you believe that many went deep into relationship as far as proposing to each other when both partners have not known what their genotype or that of their partner is? It is hard for the ears to believe but seriously, it does happen. You should not be one of such, not in this era. You cannot be in a relationship with a person whose genotype is not compatible with yours. In this light, you must know what your genotype is because it helps you know if a person is fit for you as a romantic partner or not. What is genotype and why it’s important to know your genotype? Read hear
- What do I want to get from life?
As recorded in the Bible book of Genesis, the woman is made to be a helpmeet to the man. In other words, the role of the woman is to help the man accomplish his life purpose. This is totally true. But I still believe that just as the man has a purpose, the woman also has a life purpose, and just as she is to support the man in accomplishing his, the man is also to support the woman in achieving hers. Does this sound contradictory to the Bible? Well, I do not mean here that the man should leave his assignment and help the woman pursue hers. No; he should not because he is the head. But in as much as he is the head who the woman must support, he should also help to bring out the best in her woman so she can play her supportive role to him. In plain terms, as a woman, know what you want to get from life career-wise or professionally, and this will help you take informed decision as to what kind of man you should be considering as a life partner. For instance, you desire to be a banker; how does it sound choosing a clergy man as a partner? Do you think you can really be the helpmeet you were made to be to the man? Hope you’re getting the picture clearer. When you know who you are craving to become in life, choose a man or a woman whose dream is in line or compatible with yours.
- What makes me the right person to my dream partner?
What makes a person a right match to another? Of course, it is his/her ability to get along together with him/her in spite of challenges and differences. So, do you have this ability? Do you have the patience, the knowledge, respect, humility, love, etc.? This you must find answer to.
- What do I know about relationship/marriage?
This is very important. Knowing what a venture entails before going into it saves you time and resources. It helps you avoid making mistakes that bring pain and regret. When you know a bit of what is required of you to build a meaningful relationship enables you build one when you finally get into it.
- Am I prepared/ready to really commit? It is foolish to start something because others are going into it when you fully know that you are not ready yet. A successful relationship is built on commitment.
Are you ready to commit to a relationship financially, materially, emotionally, spiritually, morally, etc.?
Without doubt, finding answers to each of the above questions will greatly help you make the right decision in choosing your life partner.
I hope you find this article helpful. Do share it on Facebook and other social media platforms. Pass it on to someone you think might also find it a useful tool in building a healthy relationship. Many thanks and God bless you.
In addition to the above list, what else do you think one should know or do before going into a relationship? Share it in the comment section below.
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I’m Oghovemu Daniel Okpu; the founder of Happy Better You.
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